Stepparent Adoptions

Stepparent adoption is a formal court process that allows a biological parent's spouse to adopt the spouse's child. Stepparent adoption procedures and requirements are controlled by state law. Although every state's laws are different, it's helpful for anyone who's considering a stepparent adoption to become familiar with the basics of the process outlined below.

Stepparent Adoption With the Consent of the Other Parent

Many states require the consent of both parents—the custodial parent and the parent who doesn't have custody of the child—to proceed with a stepparent adoption. Obtaining the noncustodial parent's consent is often the biggest hurdle in stepparent adoption.

Some biological parents consent to the adoption because they recognize it's in the child's best interest. Others might agree because it will extinguish their obligation to pay child support once the adoption is final.

However, it's often challenging to get a noncustodial parent to consent to adoption because this means permanently ending the legal parent-child relationship. . Generally, a complete termination of parental rights means the parent:

• loses the power to make any decisions for the child
• gives up all visitation rights with the child, and
• gives up the right to communicate with the child.

If you can't get the other parent's consent for the adoption, you will need to go the much harder route of asking the court to terminate the other parent's rights. The judge will not allow the adoption to proceed unless there's a valid reason to terminate parental rights, like abandonment, unfitness, or a history of child abuse.

Stepparent Adoption Without the Other Parent's Consent

If your child's other parent won't consent to the adoption, or if you can't locate the parent, you can ask the court to terminate the parental rights of the other parent. The court's primary concern is the child's best interests. Each state has its own factors for judges to consider when determining what is in the best interests, such as:

• the child's health, safety, and welfare
• the child's relationship with the stepparent
• the child's relationship with both birth parents
• the other parent's level of involvement in the child's life
• whether any parent or prospective parent has a history of abuse
• whether any parent or prospective parent abuses drugs or alcohol, and
• the child's preference when appropriate.

Proving that involuntarily terminating a parent's rights is in the child's best interest is difficult. Judges are most likely to do it in situations where the child has been abandoned or the parent is clearly unfit.

Abandonment

You might feel hopeless during the adoption process if the other parent is absent and you can't obtain consent. However, the stepparent adoption process can continue if you can prove that the parent hasn't had contact with the child or hasn't exercised parental rights for the child. Every state's abandonment laws vary, but most states require at least one year to pass where the parent has failed to support or communicate with the child. In cases where the parent pays child support, but doesn't see the child or exercise any other parental rights, the termination process might be more complicated.

Paternity Issues

If the absent parent is male, you can terminate his rights if you can prove to the court that he isn't the child's biological parent. Every state has laws on how to establish paternity For example, in many states, if a man and a woman are married when the child is born, the court automatically presumes that the woman's husband is the father. If it's later revealed that the presumption is incorrect, the alleged father will have to officially rebut the presumption in court.

If you can prove that the other parent doesn't meet your state's requirements for presumed paternity, the court can terminate that parent's rights and you can move forward with your stepparent adoption. However, if the other parent objects you'll likely have a court hearing on the issue or you'll have to work with the other parent to get their consent or prove that there's another reason why the parental relationship should be terminated, such as abandonment, unfitness, or any other reason recognized by state law.

Parental Unfitness

If the other parent has a history of child abuse, is addicted to drugs or alcohol, or is incarcerated, the court will conduct a hearing to determine if it's in the child's best interest to allow that parent to continue to exercise parental rights. In these types of cases, if the prospective stepparent is stable and committed to providing the child with a better life, the court might terminate the other parent's rights and allow the stepparent adoption to continue.

Moving forward with a stepparent adoption without the other parent's consent is challenging, so many adopting parents choose to hire an attorney to help them present their case to the court.

The Child's Consent to Adoption

In addition to getting one or both parents' consent to a stepparent adoption, you might need to get the child's consent. Most state laws require consent of older children (starting at age 10 to 14, depending on state law). For example, in Colorado, people 12 years old or older must give written consent to be adopted. (Colo. Rev. Stat. § 19-5-203(2) (2025).)

Stepparent Adoptions and Same-Sex Marriage

Married same-sex couples in all states have the same rights to stepparent adoption as opposite-sex married couples. Also, most states that recognize domestic partnerships or civil unions grant partners in these relationships the same stepparent adoption rights as married couples. For example, in California, domestic partners are eligible for stepparent adoptions and in Illinois civil union partners are eligible for stepparent adoptions. (Cal. Fam. Code § 9000(b); 750 Ill. Comp. Stat. § 50/2(A)(a) (2025).)

It's common for same-sex couples to have children using sperm or egg donors, and the donors typically sign away parental rights, which eliminates the complex task of obtaining consent in a stepparent adoption.

Stepparent Adoption Procedure

As a first step in the stepparent adoption process, you'll want to contact the clerk of the court in your area to find out what paperwork is needed to file a petition for stepparent adoption. Because stepparent adoptions are the most common form of adoption in the United States, courts often have standard forms to use. Once you've prepared and filed the appropriate forms, the court might set an initial hearing. However, many courts waive the initial hearing in stepparent adoptions.

Next, you might be required to have a home study. Home studies—when a social worker comes to the potential parent's house and evaluates the fitness of the family, among other things—are required in most adoptions. However, many states waive the home study requirement for stepparent adoptions.

The last step will be to attend the final adoption hearing. The judge will likely ask the parents a few brief questions, and might also ask the child being adopted a few questions, if appropriate. The judge will issue an order finalizing the adoption.