Making a Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent

Powers of attorney can bring peace of mind to both elders and their caretakers. Powers of attorney allow elders to empower a trusted person to make decisions about health care and finances on their behalf. Having such powers in place when a loved one loses the ability to make sound financial decisions can be priceless, especially if the person in need of help denies—or is not aware of—their worsening physical or mental health. Here is your guide on how to get a power of attorney for elderly parents.

What Documents Will You Need for a Power of Attorney?

If the person you're caring for is receptive to the idea of setting out medical wishes and naming someone to handle financial matters, and still of sound mind (a little forgetful is okay, as long as they can understand the plans you suggest), that will make things much easier. You can help the person prepare and finalize both financial and medical powers of attorney. These documents will name someone—perhaps you—to handle financial matters and oversee medical care. Here's a brief overview of both documents.

Financial Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent

The financial power of attorney you'll want to help your loved one prepare is called a "durable power of attorney for finances." This document will let your family member or friend give someone else full authority to handle financial matters. The appointed person is usually called the "agent" or "attorney-in-fact," though they most definitely don't have to be an attorney.

The agent can handle mundane tasks such as sorting through mail and depositing Social Security checks, as well as more complex jobs like watching over retirement accounts and other investments, or filing tax returns. The agent doesn't have to be a financial expert, just someone who is completely trustworthy and has a good dose of common sense. If necessary, the agent can hire professionals to help out with complicated tasks.

To learn more about this document and how to create one, see Nolo's article on durable financial powers of attorney.

Medical Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent

This document—often called a "durable power of attorney for health care"—names a trusted person to make health care decisions for someone who can no longer do so, or simply does not wish to. Depending on the state of residence, the health care representative may be called an agent, attorney-in-fact, health care proxy, health care surrogate, or something similar.

The health care agent works with doctors and other health care providers to make sure the person who makes the document gets the kind of care they wish to receive. When arranging care, the agent is legally bound to follow the person's treatment preferences to the extent that they know what they are.

To make health care wishes clear, the person you're caring for can use a second type of health care document—often called a living will or a health care declaration—to provide written health care instructions to the agent and health care providers.

To make it simple, some states combine a durable power of attorney for health care and living will into a single form, commonly called an "advance health care directive." For more information about preparing documents to direct health care, see Nolo's article on living wills and powers of attorney for health care.

If Your Elderly Parent Resists Your Help

If you think your parent will resist your efforts, you need to carefully consider the way you approach the subject. This is what you need to know about how to get a power of attorney for elderly parents who are resistant to your help:

Explain Why Powers of Attorney Are Important

For some stubborn folks, it may be enough to explain why planning is important. Some people may be moved by a request to make powers of attorney because it will relieve anxiety and pressure for you and others who care about them, even if they don't much care what happens or who makes decisions for them.

Others may be more inclined to make health care and financial documents if they understand that doing so is the best way for them to stay in control of their lives because whomever they name must follow their instructions in every way possible. (If they don't name their own representatives in powers of attorney, a court may appoint someone to act without their input.)

Of course, when you talk with anyone who's struggling with increasing frailty, you will have to tread gently around issues of deteriorating mental or physical abilities, perhaps underscoring that planning is a good thing for everybody to do, in case help is necessary someday.

Don't Force a Parent to Sign a Power of Attorney

All that said, it's just as important to remember that legally you can't—and of course, you shouldn't—force someone to follow a certain course just because you think it's best. If you strong-arm or coerce someone into making powers of attorney and the documents are later challenged in court, you could find yourself in a lot of legal trouble. The same goes for faking signatures on any legal documents. Don't do it. If your loved one doesn't want to cooperate and you eventually have to ask a court for control over his or her affairs, that may be difficult, but it's much better than being charged with fraud or forgery.

If It's Too Late to Get a Power of Attorney

If a family member is already mentally incapacitated, you'll need to ask a court to name a guardian or conservator to watch over their affairs. A court will usually name a spouse or other very close family member to this position, taking into account any evidence of what the incapacitated person would have wanted and other information about what's in their best interest. For more information, see Nolo's article on conservatorships and adult guardianships.