You don't have to be married to share your life with someone. It is increasingly common for unmarried couples to live together, have children together, and combine finances. Unmarried couples can also share a name, but it takes a little more effort than changing your name after marriage. Here's an overview of how to do it.
If you'd like to take your unmarried partner's last name, you'll need court approval. Rules vary from state to state, but you'll typically have to:
Once you have the court order, you can use it to get a Social Security card, state ID, and passport with your new name. From there, you'll have to go to each agency individually to update your information, such as your banks, credit card companies, and insurers. You'll also have to start using your new name professionally and socially.
Learn more about how to change your name.
Many states, including California, still recognize the "usage" or "common law" method for changing your name. This method allows you to simply start using a new name without having to file any paperwork or go to court, which sounds great. The problem is that for all legal and administrative purposes, including getting government-issued IDs, you have to have a court order to change your name.
So, while the usage method is still legally recognized in some states, you'll need a court-ordered name change to access any services and benefits that require a government ID.
Common law marriage is still recognized in several states. A common law marriage is established without having to get a marriage license or have a ceremony. The exact requirements vary by state, but a universal feature involves the couple living together and holding themselves out publicly as a married couple. Sharing a last name isn't required, but it's certainly one way a couple can hold themselves out to the public as married.
If you live in a state that recognizes common law marriage, be sure that your intent—to form a common law marriage or not—aligns with your decision to share a last name.
Sharing a last name with an unmarried partner doesn't convey the rights and benefits of marriage, such as the right to ask a court to divide your property or award alimony (spousal support) if the relationship ends.
If property is titled in one partner's name, that person is typically the legal owner, unless the other partner can prove otherwise. If, however, both partners are listed as owners on a deed or title, they share equal rights to the property.
If you would like to protect yourself from future property division issues, you and your partner can create a cohabitation agreement. Cohabitation agreements allow unmarried couples to identify separate and joint property and agree on how to split financial responsibilities in the event of a breakup.
Learn more about legal issues when an unmarried couple breaks up.
A name change is permanent. If you break up with your partner, you can keep your partner's last name or go through the court-ordered name change process a second time to revert to your original name. Changing your name after divorce is a more streamlined process that can happen during the divorce proceedings.
If you have questions about the legal impact of sharing a last name with your partner, talk to a family law attorney. A lawyer can explain the benefits and downsides of changing your name and handle the paperwork for you if you decide to move forward with the process.