My husband and I live in a small town – in separate apartments within the same complex. I'm a U.S. citizen, he's a visa overstay from Pakistan. We had a small, private, same-sex wedding in Massachusetts, but we don't live there. In fact, in the small, conservative town where we live, coming out would probably cause us to lose our jobs and many of our friends. We're realizing this could complicate our plans for me to petition for him to get a green card.
Needless to say, we don't have lots of pictures of a big wedding, we can't get affidavits from employers and haven't made each other beneficiaries on our health insurance or 401(k)s, and we hesitate to approach even the few friends whom we suspect are sympathetic and confirm our homosexuality to them, in case they gossip. We didn't buy wedding rings. We don't plan to arrange to raise a family. We don't have joint bank accounts. Even our Facebook statuses say "single!" Get the picture? How are we going to be able to satisfy the immigration officials that this marriage is the real thing?