When You Can Keep Lawyers Out of Divorce -- And When You Need One
When getting divorced without a lawyer makes sense -- and when you should hire one.
You probably know of people who suffered the torments of hell going through divorce, and you also probably know people who pulled it off without much fuss. Why are some divorces sensible and others catastrophic?
The answer can depend, to a surprising extent, on just one factor: how much you rely on lawyers and courts to resolve troublesome issues. The less you use the court, the less cost and heartache, and, in many cases, the better quality of the final result. But how do you avoid courts and lawyers?
Make Decisions by Yourselves
In theory, at least, it's simple: You do best if you and your spouse work out thorny issues together, with help from a neutral third person, such as a mediator, if you need it. You don't let lawyers haggle over such vital matters as how your children will be raised, what happens to the family home, and how your property will be divided. If you and your spouse can work these issues out yourselves -- and many, if not most, couples can -- you will save yourselves time, money, and anguish. More important, you will spare your children the ugly spectacle of extended parental fights, helping them come through the divorce as undamaged as possible.
If you are able to resolve the big questions of children, money, and property, you then just need to ask the court, in writing, to grant a divorce. In many states, you don't even have to appear in court. Many courts now make it relatively easy for people to handle an uncontested divorce without a lawyer.
Keep Lawyers From Fanning the Flames
When you're emotionally distraught or angry, turning all the details and hassle of a divorce over to a lawyer may seem like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, it can turn out to be a deal with the devil. Most observers -- and people who have been through an acrimonious divorce -- agree that lawyers frequently make things worse, not better.
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